Mommyhood in a Blender

Who am I? What is this blog? Why am I writing...AGAIN??

First things first: Who am I?

I am NOT the get on your knees, play barbies or toy cars or shit, get dirty with finger paint kind of mom. I do NOT enjoy being home. I do NOT enjoy cooking, cleaning, folding 9 MILLION little socks that NEVER match & I simply HATE playing taxi driver to one of what feels like an equal 9 MILLION kids in my house. I also HATE other moms who lie and make it look like they enjoy it, make it look easy all the while toting their happy baby in a bjorn sporting their put together size 2 body only 6 months after they gave birth to said happy baby.... um YEH I EQUALLY (ok maybe more) hate them... sigh.

Despite all this I am a mom & I LOVE it. I LOVE my kids & I LOVE that some crazy entity thought I was qualified enough to parent them.

I am a crazy, loud, often frustrated mom who demands a lot from her crew of 9 MILLION; really its only 4 but hey it feels like 9 MILLION at times. I like my house clean, organized & I demand that my crew help (not willingly of course & NOT without heightened decibels of my voice commanding their said help). I will cheer them on the sidelines at any number of events and will hug & dry their tears when they are hurting. I help with homework, motivate them to be better than anything I was & certainly better than they think they can be.

Im also a stepmom, yep equally crazy & these poor kids often dont know what to make of me; insert confused face here. Sorry boys your step mum is a crazy, loud, often frustrated parent who typically makes NO SENSE & demands MUCHO by way of well EVERYTHING. But I am also dedicated, your biggest supporter & someone who has made basically EVERY DAMN MISTAKE in the book so basically you dont have to.

I am also an educated career woman. I finished my Masters Degree this year which was once an IMPOSSIBLE dream of mine and one that many close to me over the years said I was never able to accomplish becasue in their minds, I was a failure, I was too stupid blah blah blah...insert THEIR insecurities here...Regardless of the naysayers, I finished my degree and never looked back.. ok maybe I did to see if they noticed...

I am home on maternity leave mandated by a massive layoff this year and am enjoying my time home with my last little nugget who is just 2 months old. But when I am not changing poopy diapers and feeding bottles to this little nugget I am a Facilities & Operations Manager. What is that you ask? Basically I manage people, processes and equipment to make an organization operate efficiently. laymen's terms...I tell a lot of people what to do, how to do and when to do it while making sure that they do it on time, within budget and efficiently.

What is this blog? Why am I writing.....again??

Basically I wanted a place where I could write down for myself, for others etc that document what it is like to run this large crazy family of mine. Writing has always been an outlet of mine and something that I miss terribly.

I used to blog A.LOT. Then I got divorced, then I enrolled into a Masters Program, then I began a full time career while being a single mom to 3 crazy kids....insert NO TIME here.

I also met a new man, began a long distance courtship and then a no distance relationship that led me to my second marriage and the birth of our daughter this year as well...insert equaly NO time.

So now I am re-married, with a newborn exactly 10 years after the last nugget was born and am trying to remember what the hell I should do and often find myself wondering what the hell were we thinking... why did we think that at early 40's late 30's my husband and I should start ALL.OVER.AGAIN??? needless to say, I have a different lens this time around as it pertains to parenthood, mommyhood and I find that for me, returning to my writing may be a way to ~~keep me sane~~ (i mean document for posterity sake) this new life I have.

Since I can NEVER post without a photo, I wanted to add a few photos of my crew. Unfortunately 3 of my husbands 4 boys do not life with us so I am without a large blended family photo of us all....